Friday, January 9, 2009

Yes I KNOW I have a lot to be grateful for. However...

Usually when I'm stressed I don't really know I'm stressed until whatever is stressing me out is over and I suddenly feel relaxed and then I think, wow that was really stressing me out I guess.

This is not one of those times. I guess it's easier to tell if something is stressing me out if it's not just something, but many things all at one time. To the point where I can feel myself just teetering on the edge of insanity. I've managed to divide the stress into the following categories for your reading pleasure:

What am I going to do with my dog?
My friend hasn't gotten back to me yet but, truth be told, I've pretty much decided. Despite the fact that it will make me very sad, I am about 95% sure that leaving him here is the best choice. Now I just have to find someone who will take him. And I don't just want to leave him with some hobo or anything. I would like the person to be someone who will be home more than never and ideally have a dog. And also like dogs. And will not give him away ever. Even when he craps all over himself. Especially when he craps all over himself.

Holy fuck is my house going to sell or not.
The plan was to put my house on the market for a month, see how it does, and if I don't get the offer I want for it, which I won't because I bought it when the market was really good and now the market is really bad and I will likely have to continue to pay my mortgage off even after I sell my house, I will rent it out until summer and then try again. I guess that still is the plan. But it's stressing me out more than I thought. I have to keep my house super clean all the time and basically follow my dog around with the vacuum and wash the dishes EVERY DAY. That is HARD. One of the bonuses about being single is that I shouldn't have to do the dishes every day. If my realtor tells me that I'm going to have to start shaving my legs on a regular basis I might have to rethink this.

I am so poor. Seriously.
I am currently living paycheck to paycheck and, after I pay the movers, I will have about $10,000 in debt on my credit cards/line of credit. Oh yeah, and my mortgage. Whose brilliant idea was it to take a snowboarding trip anyways?

But I guess I'll just work hard and pay off my debt slowly. Oh wait, I WON'T HAVE A JOB IN THREE WEEKS.
And it's not like I'm sitting here on my ass waiting for a magic job to magically find me somehow in the magic world of awesomeness. I have been applying for about 3 jobs/day on average. Guess how many have called me. One. Guess which company has a hiring freeze on right now. That one. Oh, I also got an email from another company saying that they are also in the midst of a hiring freeze. You know what is a good thing for a company to do that is experiencing a hiring freeze? STOP PUTTING UP FUCKING JOB ADS.

Other shit
You know, I'm moving to another province in less than a month and have to go through all my stuff and pack and clean and move and I'm really not happy at work and basically just want to walk out but I really like(most of) the people I work with and I'll miss them. And I'll miss my other friends. And my parents. And I'm pretty sure the city I live in only has one snow plow and it seems to be broken or something. Ok, now I'm just whining.

If I still had a functioning liver I would be so drunk right now.


LynnieC said...

Those ASS HOLES. Im sorry you still work there. And that I dont know any arsonists for hire.

Working From Home Today said...

I'd say "un-f*cking-believable" but sadly, their behavior is totally true to form. Thanks for your years of service, huh?

Man that sucks.

notquiteawake said...

I'm still holding onto the slight hope that when they say I "may" not get what I paid for it, that also means that I "may" get exactly what I paid for it. Maybe. I'm also prepared to fight for it so we'll see what happens.

Becca said...

i have complete sympathy my dear. I have been in a similar situation a few times, about to change my life completely, wondering what i was thinking. deep breaths...