Friday, May 1, 2009

The salvation of turtles.

The gym I work at is situated above a Loblaws. Every so often my coworkers go down to Loblaws and set up a table and try to sell people memberships and stuff. Today I set up a table and tried to recruit people for my learn to run program. All in all, it was a giant waste of time, but I did manage to hand out a few fliers, and one lady offered to take some to the hospital where she works, so that was pretty cool.

People were generally friendly when I talked to them and no one was outright rude which I found surprising. One man told me that he and his wife play badminton two times a weeks and I was like, wow that's awesome, when really I was thinking, why are you telling me this?

One older man came over and leaned in real close as if he was going to tell me a secret and then he asked me if I knew the secret to eternal salvation which is odd but I actually thought he asked me if I knew what the secret was to turtle salvation so I smiled and said no thinking he was like my Grandpa who thinks he's being charming by telling jokes to random women but then he just said ok and walked away and I realized what he really said and thought to myself, that was pretty fucking weird.

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As far as the online dating goes, so far I've gotten a few matches but nothing to write home about. Paying for a dating site seems to be the way to go though. With eharmony you have to go through an extensive questioning process and you have to go through all these communication steps before you can actually chat, and at any time, you can close the match and they can't contact you. It's more work but I'm finding it much better than saying in my profile that I don't drink and then getting a message from some 18 year old who is pounding a beer in his profile picture. Not that I wouldn't date some one who drinks but, seriously. I've already had 4 guys close their matches with me before we even communicated at all so that's encouraging. We can't send actual messages after someone has closed the match but, if we could, I would ask them why they were such assholes. Maybe that would change their minds.

* * * *

At work today I got a bonus for selling the most personal training sessions of anyone in 6 months. And I've set a record amount with the people I've signed up for my learn to run program. In short, I'm awesome. Longer version, so fucking awesome.

Close THIS match assholes. Yeah, that's what I should have said.


May-B said...

That should be your tag line. I bet they wouldn't close you then!

Turtle salvation is a serious subject. Really. Those little bastards stink when they burn in hell.

notquiteawake said...

Poor little guys(the turtles I mean). I would really like a turtle but they even stink when they're alive. Something about "cleaning the tank" or whatever.