Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Avon calling!

Yesterday I officially became an Avon lady. Yes, that is how exciting my life has become. And, the worst part is, I'm actually really excited about it. When the Avon representative from my area came over to walk me through the company she probably thought she had hit the jackpot. I was so excited about everything! Reese Witherspoon is the spokesperson?!! They have shoes now?!! I get a free lotion?!!! It was pretty sweet. She had this kind of spiel about why selling Avon was awesome and one of the questions she asked was why people would rather buy Avon then go to Walmart and I said because they don't have to deal with hillbillies and I guess that wasn't the right answer because she didn't really laugh or smile and basically just kept going but I wasn't really trying to be funny because, really, Walmart isn't the most high class place to shop. And hillbillies really piss me off.

So, then, after I signed all the contracts and stuff, I packed my sweet ass Avon bag all up with books ready to go back to the gym where I work and pass them out and, as I was driving there, I was envisioning how I would probably get a record amount of customers right away and I wonder what my cool free gift was going to be and I hope it's a pony or something, and then I walked in the door at work and literally, right inside my door, in my gym, is a lady at a table covered in Avon books handing them out to the members. I couldn't believe it. I guess she signed up to have the table a couple of weeks ago and no one knew, except for the boss who hasn't been there for three weeks, that I was going to be doing the same thing. But, rather then freak out, I was like, "Ok, I can deal with this," and I calmly walked up to her with one of my books in my hand, held it up to her face and said, "Game on bitch," and continued walking into the locker room. I think we know who won that round.

** ** **

Update on my living situation:
  • Sent my landlord an official request to assign my apartment because, apparently if you do this and they don't respond for 7 days, then you can give our 30 days notice and end your lease.
  • He didn't respond for 7 days.
  • Sent him my 30 days notice.
  • Responds, finally, that he has said that I could rent out the place from the BEGINNING and that the guy I found won't pay his deposit after he asked him TWO TIMES and that I have to find someone else that IS REALLY SERIOUS.
  • I respond that he had 7 days to answer my request and it is too late and that I'm tired of being ignored.
  • I end the email with "See you in court," because I am so bad ass and have always wanted to say that.
  • I don't add "You fucking asshole," even though I really want to.
  • He responds today that he's not accepting my notice.
  • I decide I'm not going to email back anymore.
  • Court date is next Friday.
  • Might start drinking again.
** ** **

Best news ever!!! I commented on my friend May-B's blog about how she should make me a cool banner so maybe people would actually start reading my blog because she's really good at it and all the banners she makes are really really cool and I was just kidding but she did! And it's really cool and awesome!! But I don't know how to add it to my blog so I have to wait for instructions.

Stay tuned!


May-B said...

I think court will be a good thing. He's DONE!

Also, Avon!!!! Yay!

Finally. I'm really glad you like the banner. I hope you can figure out my instructions!

Anonymous said...

New look! I was all like, pink? That's really not the color I would have pictured for notquiteawake, but hey, new life and all...and then I read Avon and it all makes sense. Avon's like Mary Kay right? Good luck!

Anonymous said...

But now that I actually look and see its a pig, I feel silly for focusing on the pink. Of course this is you!!

Lindzle said...

Love the new look! Great job May-B!

Anonymous said...

i just realized that sounds like I'm saying that a pig image suits you, which I was totally not! I meant that you liked pigs so of course, you would have a pig on your page. I'm going to shut up now and never never comment again...

notquiteawake said...

Anonymous, don't ever stop commenting. Whoever you are, you're hilarious.

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