One of my favorite things about living in my place is that the people who just moved in on the first floor like to BBQ at midnight right underneath my window. There's really nothing better than trying to fall asleep with burger smoke wafting in your window. No, really. There's nothing better. Except everything.
Because the last thing I need, when I already have problems sleeping, is to be lying in bed craving burgers like a pregnant woman.
But I'm not pregnant. Because apparently to become pregnant you have to first do something called "having sex" which I have not done in some time. But I did just recently go back on the pill so I'm pretty sure the sex will soon follow. That's how it works right? No? Oh.
Speaking of which, when I was in Regina, I joked to my mom in the airport that I was pregnant for some reason and then after I laughed and said, "As if" or something equally cool, my Mom told me, in all seriousness, that I should really consider getting a friend with benefits. I know I briefly mentioned this in my last post but I really wanted to make sure, just in case you missed it the first time, that everyone was aware my own Mother is recommending this to me. Because I guess she thinks I've really come to that point. But she couldn't be more wrong.
I've passed that point.
Back to the not sleeping. I went to a behavioral therapist a few weeks ago to see if she would help me with my not sleeping due to anxiety problem and, basically, everything she said I already knew because I've done a lot of research and also because I'm super smart, but, that being said, there were a couple of things she recommended that have seemed to have helped a bit like not having caffeine after 1pm and not reading in bed.
I think she was pretty frustrated at the end though because she was super pumped about all her, clearly recent, findings about insomnia and kept reading from her little paper and saying things like, "researchers say" and then she would list off all the things you should do if you want to get a good sleep, all of which I already knew and also tried but I humored her and said I'd try them. And I did try two, as noted above, so I've basically already put in 100% and it's up to her to fix me.
One of the things she said was important was to go to bed and get up at the same time every day, which I've heard before and also believe but don't necessarily like to practice. She asked me if that would be something I would be willing to do and I said sure, I can get up at 7am every day. And then she said that weekends were included and I said, no deal. Or I might have just started laughing. Either way I think she got the point.
I can't explain how much I love sleeping in. And not sleeping in until noon or something crazy, just sleeping in until 8:30 or 9am. I love it. If I have a shitty week of sleep the only thing that gets me through is the knowledge that I can sleep until as long as I want on the weekend. If I wanted to get up at 7am on the weekends I'd have kids. And I know all the parents out there are laughing because I'm so silly thinking that 7am is early if you have kids and I'd be lucky to SLEEP IN until 7am on weekends if I had kids. And to them I say, I don't care. 7am is early. I don't like it. End of story.
And then she got the idea that if I go to bed at 10pm but don't fall asleep until 1am, then why don't I go to bed at 1am? Why indeed. Mostly because if I went to bed at 1am I wouldn't fall asleep until 5am because the problem isn't I'm not ready for bed, the problem is I can't stop thinking about stuff when I am in bed and if I went to bed at 1am I would not only be thinking of all the crap I usually think about, I would also be thinking OH MY GOD IT'S 1AM AND I HAVE TO GET UP IN 6 HOURS which wouldn't really help things in my view.
So, at the end of the session she was all, "Do I have your commitment to getting up at 7am each day?" and I was like, "Sure" and she was all, "Even weekends?" except it wasn't a question it was more of a stern statement and, really, I tried hard for about 2 seconds to pretend I was going to do it but then I just started laughing and said, "I'm not going to lie. I'm totally not doing that. I'll say I'll do it but on Saturday when the alarm goes off at 7am I guarantee you I'll just turn it off and go back to sleep."
And she was kind of taken back a bit but she was a real trooper and kept her composure and said, "Ok, can I get your commitment that you will go to bed at 1am every night?" and I was like, "I really don't understand the value in this exercise," and she was all, "JUST DO IT," or something and I countered with the commitment to go to bed at 10:30pm and she said it would be better if I went to bed at 1am like she said or, at least 12:30am and I sort of agreed so she asked which one would it be, 12:30 or 1am and I said 11:00.
And then I think she cried a bit.
I'm pretty sure I'm getting my money's worth.