Sometimes my friends and I like to get together to share embarrassing stories about our parents. Until a few years ago, I had always had the best ones. That is until my friend, who I will call Josh, shared one about his mom. I'll leave that one for a future post though. What follows are my top three embarrassing parent stories. One of which involves my uncle who asked especially to be in a blog post. I hope he's happy.
1) Scene: Summer time, outdoors, birds are singing sweetly. Mom and Dad are out back fixing up the yard. Dad is pulling weeds. Mom is putting together a beautiful wood bench where she can sit and watch the entire yard in all it's splendor.
Mom: My back hurts.
Dad: Why don't you sit down?
Mom:(quite loudly) I can't screw sitting down. When I screw I have to be standing up!
Cue neighbours nodding to themselves knowingly.
2)Scene: Kitchen. My nieces 2nd birthday party. The family, both extended and immediate, and friends are gathered around talking. Kids are within earshot. I am eating supper standing up, as I had to work late. Supper is little rings of pasta with cheese.
Brother: What happened?
Me: I just bit down on a big piece of cheese clumped inside the pasta.
Dad:(chooses a point where no one is talking to say) Nothing like having cheese in your hoop!
No dad, there really isn't.
And my favourite:
3)Scene: A busy intersection stopped at a stop light in our white station wagon. Mom and Dad in front. Brother and I in back. Brother and I are of elementary and high school age respectively. Uncle is one car length behind us. That is, behind the car behind us. At a busy intersection. Busy.
Dad: (for some reason gets a stroke of brilliance and exits the car, turns around, and yells in my uncle's direction) ARE MY TIRES LOW?
Uncle: (obviously slightly confused, also exits car) WHAT?
Dad: ARE MY TIRES LOW?
Uncle: WHAT? MY TIRES ARE LOW?
Dad: (By this point my brother and I are both sitting on the floor of our car) NO! ARE MY TIRES LOW?
And then God heard our prayers and the light changed. Dad and Uncle both got back into their respective cars and we carried on our way never to speak of this again. Except we always do. It's much funnier with the actions.