Thursday, June 7, 2007

It's been a while

A direct quote from my mother who was violently ill this weekend.

Me: I wonder what happened?

Mom: God shot me up with shit and puke.

Me: Ok.

Mom: I just came up with that.

Me: No kidding.

So we've decided to sell our dog. We've come to the conclusion, after he's eaten almost everything in our house, that he's not a house dog. Last night I came home and found that he'd eaten the insert to our Dog Whisperer DVD's. Slightly ironic. We've also decided that he's a burden on our already somewhat problematic marriage. (See how I threw that in there? Now you all know! But wait, there's more!) After a week of living apart, my husband and I decided that we were going to focus all of our efforts on our relationship this summer to see if this is where we both want to be. It looks very promising that this is indeed where we want to be but, in order to focus on us, we need to get rid of what is currently sucking away most of our attention and patience. That would be the dog. We're hoping to find someone with a farm or an acreage or something. We don't just want to give him to some random yahoo....yet....
Things are going great otherwise though so thanks to all who were concerned.
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There are a great many things in this world that annoy me. A great man things. Today I'd like to officially protest shoes with wheels. To whoever invented these, you suck. I really mean it. Now, don't get me wrong, they're a neat idea and they look fun and I'm sure if I hadn't been so embarrassingly uncoordinated when I was a kid I would have had fun with them if they were around. However, there a certain places where they should not be worn. A wedding for example. How many kids would likely get a smack from their parents if they strapped on a pair of roller blades and rode them around the dance floor? All of them, that's how many. So, what's the difference if you're riding around on your stupid wheel shoes? Nothing. Nothing is the difference. I'm just waiting for some kid to smack into a baby or a grandma or a grandma holding a baby. It will not be pretty let me tell you.
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As I'm writing this I'm listening to the dog run full speed back and forth from one end of the house to the other throwing his bone into the wall with each pass. I just came home from taking him for his second walk of the day, after which he ran around the back yard for 45 minutes. Oh wait, he's finally lying down. Maybe he's dead. Nope, just chewing on the carpet.
Phew.

6 comments:

A. said...

Awesome. Awesome. So glad you are back!

Working From Home Today said...

Well, a big Dammit about all the sucky parts. None of it can be easy.

But I also like the solutions now in progress. Well done!

May-B said...

Thinking about you and hoping things settle down for you. Heard that you finally are cohabitating with a real Canadian now! If you feel like you need to run away to a place that is slightly more chaotic, but in a different way, come on down. I'm only a block away.

erin said...

once i was missing a diamond earring but i found it in the toilet. it must have fallen in. the point of the story is sometimes there are good things to be found when you are up to your elbows in the crapper.

ok. bad analogy. but i'm thinkin of ya.

notquiteawake said...

Thanks guys! I appreciate the support. And I always like a good crapper story.

Tricia said...

This one time my sister tried to flush a pair of ski pants down the toilet...the results were both horrifying and hilarious...I know, this has nothing to do with anything but sometimes a little levity is in order...