Until recently, I had never had the pleasure of having a bikini wax. I had heard it was painful, so why go through all that if I preferred to wear the little shorts instead of bikini bottoms anyways right? Right. So, a few weeks ago I went bathing suit shopping. If you've been keeping track you will know that I've gained a bit of weight over the last year or so. And by "a bit" I mean enough that I had to buy quite a few new clothes. Unfortunately, summertime isn't the best time to be buying new clothes because you've gained weight. Why? Because you wear less clothes. Less clothes means more of you for everyone to see.
Now, bathing suit shopping is a painful experience for me as it is and having to go buy a new one because my old one "shrunk" didn't make me want to go do it any more. So I waited until the last possible minute. Of course this meant that I had very little to chose from. To make matters worse, apparently the style this year does not in any way flatter those who are a tad smallish on top. Two pieces of material joined together with a string in the middle does very little to my already boyish figure. I need padding or underwire or implants to look even somewhat acceptable in a bathing suit. Unfortunately this year there was nothing like that to be found.
Basically, the shopping consisted of me grabbing any bathing suit that I somewhat maybe could like, trucking into the changing room and putting on top after top. I would rarely even get to the bottoms. During this process I would alternate between laughing and almost crying. It was good times.
The end result of this incredibly deflating trek around the city was buying a bathing suit that on one hand I didn't even like but, on the other hand didn't make me look like a little boy in his sister's two piece. Of course the store I was at didn't have bottoms that fit so I bought a pair of little short bottoms that were too big hoping that I could shrink them and then also had them hold a pair of bikini bottoms at their other store which I went and bought in case I couldn't shrink the shorts. I couldn't shrink the shorts.
And so we get to the bikini wax. I kind of had always wanted to see what it was like anyways. Kind of. So I did see what it was like. And it hurts. Yes it does. It is a very unique kind of pain that only waxing a very sensitive area of your body can achieve. Every time she prepped another strip I would try to prepare myself and every time my body wouldn't quite be prepared. "Does it hurt more than you thought?" "Oh no, I'm fine. Am I supposed to be bleeding?"
All in all, it wasn't that horribly bad. In fact, I'll likely go back for another because, really, it got the job done. My favourite part of the whole experience however was at the end when she left the room so I could put my pants back on. Really? I really don't think we have to worry about modesty at his point. I'm pretty sure you've seen more of me than most of my boyfriends have. I think we're ok if you stay in the room.
Maybe next time.