I'm tired today. I often go through periods of not sleeping and I'm currently smack right in the middle of one. These portions of my life are not only hard on me because I'm really tired, but they are also hard on others because I'm much more bitchy than normal. And that's pretty bitchy if you know me. The good thing is that I know I'm more bitchy and irritable when I don't sleep so I generally try to avoid people. If avoiding people is entirely out of the question I just have to try extra hard not to say things like:"Are you seriously talking to me about something that stupid?"and "I really don't care" and "Please stop talking right now". I also have to try really hard not to lose my shit over small, unimportant things which is pretty difficult seeing as I do that even when I'm not tired. I've been having a lot of silent conversations with myself today along the lines of : "There are coffee grounds on my choir books. WHY are there coffee grounds on my choir books? Don't get mad at him. Doooonn't get mad. It's ok. It's only coffee grounds."(outloud)"SIGH!" "Oh, NOTHING. There's just COFFEE GROUNDS on my CHOIR BOOKS. "(purposefully walk towards the sink and brush them off) "These aren't MINE you know" (silently) "Dammit. Can't do it. Can't do today. Going back to bed."
One of the main reasons why I'm not sleeping this time is that we're toying with the idea of selling our house again. We bought our house right before the housing market boomed so we would likely get double what we paid and would be able to pay off all our debts which would rule. Plus, husband has a full time job now so we could upgrade. PLUS our marriage is going really well right now so I figure it's about time to add some more stress into the equation. If there isn't a constant source of crippling stress in my life I feel as if I'm not quite whole.
Sadly, that last statement must be true. Why else would I do the things I do? I should totally get a dog.