Thursday, June 12, 2008

Breaking out....and in.

Un-kenneling: Phase 2(morning) went smashingly. Nothing was eaten or peed on. The third and final phase(morning and afternoon)is in full swing.

How exciting is it that I'm blogging about the different stages of un-kenneling my dog. No wonder I don't have any comments.

Here's something exciting: When I went out to my car this morning I noticed some glass on the ground by my driver's side door. Even though it was directly underneath my driver's side window, I actually had a flash of brilliance and thought, "Oh, that sucks for someone". That someone turned out to be me.

At first I thought some asshat had just driven/walked/roller-shoed by and smashed my window with a bat/crow bar/face, but it turns out that someone actually tried to break in(I was shown the screwdriver marks). Nothing was taken though, as far as I could see. Maybe they were scared off when my light went on at 3am because someone had to pee but that someone was much too delicate to go out in the rain.(Not me)

Regardless of how it happened, I was pleasantly surprised that none of my valuable treasures had been taken. I have learned my lesson though. If those hooligans have taught me anything, they have taught me that I must make a list of all the priceless items in my car for insurance purposes in case this happens again.
  • one slightly damaged ice scraper
  • a blue and white flowered cloth bag. Many holes.
  • an empty flavoured water bottle, complete with cancer causing leechings.
  • 15 CDs that are so scratched they won't actually play in my CD player because I am too lazy to store them in their cases.
  • one perfectly preserved Christian Rock CD. I have no clue where it came from so it must have been sent by God. I certainly would not have purchased it. Therefore it is clearly valuable.

That's about it. Phew. That's a whole whack of stuff to steal. Maybe I should start storing it all in my house. Perhaps in a lock box.

This did turn out better then the time I surpassed every intelligent thing I have ever done and left a pair of brand new running shoes in the back seat of my car in the worst neighbourhood in the city.

Clearly visible.

Still in the bag.

With the receipt.

Of course, this wasn't nearly as clever as the guy who actually stole the running shoes, took them back to the store, and gave them his real name and address for the return slip.

That takes a certain type of smart.


Terri said...

Is that returning the shoes with the address true?!? If so that is hilarious and I want to hear the full story sometime. I remember the shoes being stolen, just not the idiot stealer. Oh, and sorry to hear about your damaged car, that is crappy.

notquiteawake said...

It's totally true. Of course the police didn't do anything about it despite conclusive proof but, whatever.

Anonymous said...

My friend had her car window smashed.

The too-smart thieves made away with an empty computer box.

notquiteawake said...

Ha! It's funny that the weight of the box never clued them in.

Jodi - 35 and single (sigh) said...

My brother's friend's niece had her car window smashed once. They had to remove half her face and she slowly died on the way to the vet.

Glad to hear the flowery bag survived to lay crumpled on the floor another day.

notquiteawake said...

hahahahaha! Jodi, as I started reading your comment I was like, oh that's so sad..but then I got it. You're awesome.

may-b said...

Jodi, that was the greatest thing ever. Kudos.

I had my window smashed once. They'd gone through my car looking for change. I got in, looked at the mess and blamed my brother. Never dawned on me it was theives.