Monday, May 4, 2009

Conversations with my trainer and also don't read this post if you don't want to read about my boobs.

Trainer: So, have you started noticing any changes with your body?
Me: Other than being sore all the time? No...not really.  What should I be looking for?
Trainer: Well, your butt should start getting bigger...we're really working your glutes.
Me: What? I don't want my butt to get bigger at all.  
Trainer: No, we're going to actually GIVE you a butt. 
Me: I have a butt.  I like my butt.  It's fine.
Trainer: Before we started working you had a really flat butt.
Me: What? No.  Really? Oh.  So, will my pants start fitting differently?  Will I have to buy new pants?
Trainer: Yeah, they'll probably be a bit tighter.  You haven't noticed them being tighter?
Me: Well, I mostly just wear yoga pants so, no.  That doesn't really seem fair.
Trainer: What doesn't?
Me: I start training and my butt gets bigger and my boobs get smaller.  That's kind of a rip off.
Trainer: What?! Why are your boobs getting smaller?
Me: Because god hates me and when I lose weight that's where I lose it from?
Trainer: You shouldn't really be losing weight though.  Why do you think your boobs are getting smaller?
Me: My sports bra is looser.
Trainer: Not quite awake! Your boobs aren't getting smaller!  You're losing that extra fat in your back!  You're toning.  That's a good thing.  If anything, your boobs should look better because we're building your pecs.
Me: Oh.  Well, ok.  That sounds better.  Can we just pretend we didn't spend 10 minutes talking about my boobs?
Trainer:  No, I'm totally telling everyone this.
Me: Alright then.

** **  **

So the guy I've been talking to on eharmony can't spell and it's beginning to drive me a bit nuts.  I KNOW I shouldn't be so picky and I KNOW I'm not the best speller in the world but COME ON.  In his last email he said that it was cool that I taught English in Chilly. In CHILLY. No, actually I taught English in a COUNTRY not in a TEMPERATURE DESCRIPTOR.  I'm going to give him a chance though because he also told me that he wasn't going to send me a picture of his junk and I thought that was funny.  Junk is funny.  Plus he seems like a really cool guy and works with troubled youths and stuff.

I will, however, end all contact if he says LOL one more time.

I will be alone forever.

7 comments:

LynnieC said...

I'm sorry, but bad spelling and using "lol" are complete deal breakers. Without a doubt.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I don't think I could date someone who commits "LOL". --Working

Schmutzie said...

I like big butts, and I cannot lie...

Anonymous said...

You have to get past it, and here's why - the things we overlook in the beginning (the things we say are "quirky" and "different") are usually the things that get in the way later. The things that bother us in the beginning usually end up being no big deal. Sure, we're fussy at the start, and why not? However, a spelling-challenged boyfriend is better than so many things.

tee said...

good point anonymous (you should take some credit)...besides once you move past the "on-line" part of dating, how often will spelling really be an issue...now if he actually SAYS LOL...that's a totally different story

notquiteawake said...

All very good points...especially Schmutzie...I think I may graduate our "open communication" to MSN. We'll see how that goes!

May-B said...

The Guy signs a lot of his messages "Grin" when he's kidding. It makes me want to harm him, but I love him nonetheless.