Friday, May 8, 2009

Let us never speak of this again

Yesterday I was talking to my mom on the phone and she was telling me about when she met my dad and she said they had met once at a meditation group and then they just started "bumping into each other" and I said, "Is that a euphemism?" for some reason, and my mom asked what a euphemism was and I was like, "Oh, never mind, how's the weather there?" but she really wanted to know so, not only did I have to explain to my mom what a euphemism was but I then had to explain that I was talking about her having sex with my dad.  And then I realized that I should really think before I say things because that is actually something I have no desire to hear about and it wasn't even funny in the first place.  So, then my mom laughs and says, "No, I wasn't having sex then," and, by this point, I was curled up in a fetal position on the floor, but then she had to top it off at the end with, "With your dad."  Just to clarify.  Thanks.

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I took my car in today, finally, and, it turns out, it wasn't a loose belt which was making the high pitched squealing noise, but the brakes.  And as the guy was telling me this, I sort of remembered back about 3 years ago when I was married, how we were supposed to have gotten the brakes fixed but never did because we couldn't afford it so we were going to do it when we had the money but then, you know, we got divorced and stuff and I guess I kind of forgot about it and then drove across the country three months ago.  I don't think I'm going to tell my dad about this one.

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I got an email today that some dude on eharmony is interested in chatting.  You would think that with all my bitching about not getting any emails that I would be really excited or, at least, pleased.  I'm pretty apathetic however.  Isn't it fun how I complain about something not happening and then, when it does, I don't really want to follow through?   That's how I roll people.  Deal with it.


Anonymous said...

I once let my brakes go for so long that when my mechanic friend pulled off the rotor, he could brake off pieces of it with his bare hands. That's a little something I like to call- hell yeah, I got my money's worth, and how!

Your post today is full of funny.

notquiteawake said...

Full of funny and awkward. The recipe of my life.

farleycat said...

I love your awkward stories! I miss them.

tee said...

I love that there's just the slightest hint that your mom was as easy as Sunday morning...seriously, my respect for your mom has just doubled...on an unrelated note: what's that weird smell coming from the garbage?