Thursday, May 7, 2009

The real world?

You know when you do something and you're like, this sucks and makes me feel like garbage so I'm never doing it again but then you forget and you do it again because you wonder, why the hell am I not doing this fantastic thing?

What do you mean you're confused?  

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I could write a letter to myself and send it back two weeks it would probably read something like this:

Dear Not quite awake:
Remember when you first tried internet dating and how it was kind of cool to get the attention at first but, after weeding through all the douche bags and foreign language speakers, you were left with nothing but disappointment because no one was contacting you?  Remember how you used to check your email every day with anxious anticipation, hoping that the guy you were talking to, but had never actually met, had sent you an email and then you would feel like shit when your inbox was empty?  WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT DO YOURSELF AGAIN?!  

I seem to remember reading in your(awesome) blog about how you really liked being on your own and how you really weren't looking for a boyfriend or whatever so what the hell?  You sound content with how things are.  It seems very odd to me that you are thinking about again allowing yourself to place so much importance on an email alert.  

Yes, I know your friends tried it and it worked for them but their self confidence might be a little less fragile than yours and, when faced with possible rejection, they might not revert back to their younger years when the desperation to be liked and accepted  was the driving force behind all of their actions.  Hello high school.

So, before you join another internet dating service, remember this:  A crush developed on someone who you meet online, will almost inevitably end in disappointment.  And I know you will eventually develop a crush because that's what you do.  You are happy now with what you have.  Close your laptop and venture out into the real world to meet people there.  I guarantee you it will be worth your while.

Love,
Not quite awake


6 comments:

May-B said...

That's why I hated Eharmony. In Lava Life, you get to reject people. And it's more fun that way.

You are content. I'm sorry I encouraged you!!!

LynnieC said...

I totally thought you were talking about eating at first. I was like, "I KNOW!! Eating that whole cake will make me feel bad, but at the time i'm all, why am I not eating that WHOLE CAKE?"

We have different issues, but the same, my friend.

erin said...

i am 100% certain that your future man is out there looking for you.

He's probably SO annoyed that he can't find you on eharmony. Did you accidentally check a box that said you were fat? Maybe your settings are off.

Maybe you will see him at the grocery store tonight! (don't buy tampons at the grocery store.)
Maybe he will pull up next to you at a red light! (don't pick your nose.)

AAAAAAHHHH! THE PRESSURE!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Eharmony matched me with 320 men, most of which I rejected or rejected me. Of those 320, I chatted with maybe 5...4 of whom were a waste of my time...be patient, there's a lot of frogs out there. Remember, none of these guys have met you in person, if they had, I know they wouldn't be writing you off.

notquiteawake said...

May-B: Always encourage me! Or else I wouldn't do anything.
Lyn: Hilarious. You made me laugh out loud at work when I wasn't supposed to be checking my email. Now I'm fired. Thanks.
And, just to be clear, I in no way thought I was going to find my dream man on eharmony(although I've now unchecked the fatty mcbutter pants box)and I'm not giving up on it either. I'm just saying I don't care. Whatever happens, happens. I'm not going to get too worked up about it.
P.S. You guys are all awesome.

Imnotbenny said...

Well you must have checked something wrong, because this makes no sense to me.

Unless you kill people with axes or something. Do you frequently kill people with axes? Because I'm pretty sure that falls in the "turn offs" category.