Tuesday, July 14, 2009

My parents visit and an epiphany of sorts

So, my parents are leaving today which is sad but we had a great visit which is....well, great I guess. They arrived last Tuesday night and my brother and I went to pick them up at the airport. When my brother came to pick me up I decided that it would be really funny to make a sign so I quickly tore apart a box and packing taped the shit out of it and wrote "our parents" on it, delighted at my wit. My brother took one look at it and said, "You are not bringing that," because he gets embarrassed easily, and often, because basically it's my life's goal to embarrass him whenever I can so I said, "Yes I am bringing it BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME." But then I forgot it. So we were just waiting for them with hugs and that's not very funny at all. Or embarrassing. So my brother won that one. But I got back at him when I told my parents it was a good idea to wear identical T-shirts when we all went out for my niece's birthday so there. Sucker.

On Saturday the Riders played here so of course we had to go to the game. It was pretty awesome. The Riders kicked Toronto's ass. The best part was that half, if not more, of the people there were fans of Saskatchewan and Toronto gave out free tickets so it's pretty clear whose team is better. There were even some guys there that had painted their whole bodies with glittery green paint and wrote "RIDER" on their chests and "PRIDE" on their backs like guys do in Saskatchewan but they were somewhat less crazy as the games here are played in a dome and the dome can be closed if it's too cold outside whereas the games back home are played outside whether you like it or not. Now, normally, the guys who do that are not really a treat to look at without shirts but the one guy with the R and the P really was and, at one point, my Dad, who didn't realize they had "PRIDE" on their backs said to me that the one guy should sit down because there wasn't a P in RIDER and I said something like, "Man, that guy can totally stand up for as long as he wants" and then I remembered that I was talking to my Dad. Smooth.

The next day we went to the African Lion Safari which is like a zoo but you drive through it and monkeys and shit jump on your car and freak the crap out of you. Or maybe that's just me. Now, I'm not a big fan in general of zoos and circuses and stuff that showcases animals and makes them do shows but my brother and his family were really excited about it and said it was really cool so I decided what the hell. And it was pretty neat. Basically you drive around this animal reserve and animals can come up to your car but you can't open your window and feed them because they will probably kill you. My brother said that when they went last time monkeys jumped all over their car and it was really funny and cool and my nephew even said there were a couple of monkeys playing leap frog but the one monkey just couldn't quite get over the other monkey and it was at that point that I decided that I would just wait for them in the park because I really didn't want monkeys jumping on my car, nor did I especially want to see animal porn. But my brother said it was the best part and made me go. So I did.

And I guess I'm scared of monkeys or something, which is weird because I really love Curious George, because when we started getting closer to the monkey part I started getting really nervous and silently praying that if the monkeys would please stay off my car I would give to charity every month and we almost made it through but at the very end a monkey jumped on the back of my car and settled down for a little ride and I sort of freaked out a bit but was mostly watching my brother and his family in the car ahead because they seemed to be enjoying this way more than I was. Apparently the best part of the day, according to my brother, was the expression on my face when I thought the monkey was going to leave after jumping on the roof but, in reality, he was going to climb down the front and I screamed HOLY JESUS CHRIST after he slapped himself down on the front windshield. I guess it was pretty funny.

After I changed pants, we went to a petting zoo and there were Llamas there but I wasn't going to go near them because my sister in law said they were sneezing or spitting all over the place and that shit is pretty nasty but then I guess I forgot or something so I went up to take a picture and got a face full of Llama snot which was probably one of the most disgusting things that has ever happened to me. And I guess that also was pretty funny because my sister in law almost wet herself. I was pretty much a riot that day.

After that we just hung out around the house and ate and talked and watched TV. I had bought a whole bunch of healthy snacks and actually found some fiber cookie things called Bowel Buddies which I though was hilarious so I bought them for that reason and then my Dad thought he would take it one step further and suggest that they be called Bum Buddies and I was like, Dad that is so wrong for so many reasons and he didn't really get it so he kept going with it and I just ended up covering my ears and humming until he stopped talking.

And then, while watching golf and debating whether or not a woman golfer's name was pronounced "Creamer" or "Kramer" my mom said that she "would pronounce her name Kramer anyways if she was a girl and had the last name Creamer" and my dad had on his "embarrassed to be married to you" face which was similar to the one he wore at the Rider game when some Toronto fans yelled out that Toronto rules and my mom screamed LET'S GO RIDERS at the top of her lungs and I was like, Dad, you were just making an argument to have a cookie brand be renamed Bum Buddies. And then we just stopped talking altogether.

All in all it was a fantastic visit and I'm really going to miss them. For reals.

So, now is where the epiphany comes in. My parents stayed with me for two nights in my bachelor suite and, despite the lack of personal space, when they were gone I was really lonely. And the next morning I still felt shitty. So, on my way to work, I put on my Ben Lee CD and asked Ben with his positive and simple but enchanting lyrics and catchy melodies to help me out. And I guess he did help me out somehow because I decided that I'm finally tired of being alone. Hanging out with my parents and my brother and his wife and their family all weekend made me realize that I really don't want to be alone forever. I've been pretty content up until this point to fly solo but, really, I have a pretty awesome life and it would be pretty cool to share it with someone. So...I'm going to start internet dating again!! Just kidding. I'm not starting internet dating again, although it would have been nice to have had this epiphany BEFORE I did it the last time, but whatever. The point is I'm really going to be more open to things now instead of just mentally closing the door before it even opens as has been my habit in the past.

My friend says that if you really truly want something that you should ask the universe and the universe will provide.

So, ok Universe. I'm ready now. Do it up.


Anonymous said...

Well I thought the "our parents" sign was awetacular.

Screw you, spell check, it's a word.

I went to one of those drive through places once and they were selling bags of carrots you could give to the animals, and right over the entrance was a sign that said:

"Remember, carrots look like fingers!"

May-B said...

I wish I had been in that car with you. Wow.

I like the sign. Too bad. Although, I'm with him, it is horribly embarrassing.

I miss you!! You're too funny.