Saturday, August 8, 2009

Porn! But not really.

So, I'm pretty sure I have given myself carpel tunnel syndrome because my right wrist hurts like a bitch all the time, especially when I use the little mouse pad on my laptop so I've stared to use my left hand to move around the cursor but then it starts to hurt and it's actually much slower than my right hand so then I use my right hand again because my left wrist hurts and also because I forgot that my right wrist already hurts but then I yell FUCK really loud because of the shooting pain and that usually helps me remember. And it also freaks my neighbours out a bit and I can only tell because their constant stomping around upstairs is temporarily silenced. And than I think that my neighbours should be thinking that if they can hear ME yell then maybe I can hear them. All the time. For example I can maybe hear the 16 year old girl tell her 13 year old brother that he has a "typical Asian penis" and I don't even want to guess what the fuck that was all about. Because I don't even really know what a "typical Asian penis" is like but that's ok. Because apparently it's not something to be proud of.

So, I was thinking to myself that maybe, because of my crippled wrists, I might possibly spend too much time on the internet and that maybe I should start to actually socially interact with human beings in person and I thought I'd call my friend Lindsay and see if she wanted to hang out soon but then I thought that was a bit too much effort, what with all the talking and the physically demanding task of forming words and making sounds, so I texted her instead.

But THEN I thought that I actually did socially interact with a human today because I finally got to meet one of my bloggy friends Imnotbenny in person and it was pretty great and for all you people out there who really wanted to meet him in person I am pretty much the winner of that round.

So, I guess, what I learned today is sometimes, socially interacting with a human being is worth the effort of actually having a shower and peeling my laptop off my yoga pants. And also that Asian porn is probably a pretty big let down. Probably.

3 comments:

Lynmara said...

Holy crap, you're hysterical. For reals. Sorry about the wrist, though. Boo to that.

Imnotbenny said...

I'm pretty jealous- I heard that Imnotbenny guy is the most entertaining person in the world to hang around with.

He should totally have a poster.

Like a sweet velvet black light poster.

Your Asian neighbors are apparently extremely free with their bodies.

And finally, I would yell FUCK like that every fifteen minutes or so for an hour tomorrow, and then follow it with a THAT'S RIGHT, BITCHES!

May-B said...

Hilarious. And yes, you win.

I too am getting carpal tunnel from the computer. It's not right.