I'm not a huge crier in real life. And by "real life" I mean I don't cry often about real things. I don't like crying in front of people and, if you ever do see me cry, you will know that it's a big deal.
Now, that's not saying that I never feel like crying. I'm not actually dead inside. For example, for the past two weeks I've been getting so frustrated and angry dealing with this apartment shit and other shit that's shitty and even shittier because I've come to accept that I will probably have to deal with shit like this all by myself for the rest of my life, that I've felt like crying many many times, especially today because I've succumbed to the fact that I'm probably going to have to live here below the neighbors from hell until June and beg the new place which I love for my deposit back. And by beg I mean probably sleep with someone. Because I'm not above that.
So, thank god for Grey's Anatomy because every time I watch it, no matter what happens, at the end of the episode I bawl my eyes out. Even if it's just a little sad, once I start crying about fake things that are happening to fake people on TV, the real things in my real life that are bothering me take over.
And I totally let go.
So, thanks Grey's Anatomy. If it wasn't for you I would probably just keep all my sad and angry and frustrated emotions bottled up inside and one day just explode in a destructive torrent of grief.
Tonight I actually feel a little bit better.
Although, come to think of it, it might not be tears running down my face but possibly sweat because the people upstairs control the heat and it is SO FUCKING HOT DOWN HERE that I am actually not wearing a shirt.
The next 6 months are just going to FLY by.
Remember that time when I was all about positivity and choosing happiness and loving life and sunshine and rainbows and AREN'T WE ALL SO LUCKY JUST TO BE ALIVE?!!
Yeah, that's over.