Saturday, December 12, 2009


So, Saturday Night Live is still brutal. I hadn't watched it for a few years so I turned it on tonight while I was eating my before bedtime snack, which was an apple if you must know, to see if it still sucked and it turns out that it does indeed, still suck. I actually turned off the TV and ate the rest of my apple while staring at the wall. I wish I was joking.

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How does it happen that I always gain more followers when I don't post? If I stopped posting forever would I get a record number of followers of anyone anywhere? Or are people following me when I don't post as a subtle way of telling me that I shouldn't post anymore. AH HA! Well, I've figured out your clever game and NO ONE puts baby in a corner I'll tell you that much. I'm still posting. So there. Suckers.

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The other night I was driving home from my friend's house in Toronto and I thought for some reason that I would try to get home without my GPS because I'd driven that route all of one time before so I guess that made me unreasonably brave or something and at first I thought I was doing really good and I was like I AM AWESOME and then I realized I was somehow at the airport and, like, not just at the airport but at a terminal and I was all, "How the fuck did this happen?" while I was rummaging through my purse madly trying to find my GPS and program it while I was driving and trying to forget all the horror stories I had heard about people trying to get out of Pearson which is one of the biggest and busiest airports in the world. And then I thought, what if I was stopped by the police because they thought I was dialing a cell phone rather than trying to program my GPS because dialing and talking on a cellphone is illegal now and I could be strapped with a $500.00 fine and I would have to try to explain what I was doing and the cop would be like, "What are you doing at the airport?" and I would be all, "Dude. I totally don't even know." I would probably just take the fine.

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And finally, I would like to say, one more time, that I really really wish people who hate Facebook and are pissed off about all their changes and privacy setting horrors would just stop using Facebook. Seriously. I don't think they would care. And by "they" I mean Facebook. Because they are millionaires. And millionaires can basically do anything they want. So go ahead and join the FACEBOOK IS RUINING MY LIFE WE NEED ONE BILLION SIGNATURES TO KILL THE BASTARDS!!!! group OR you can just cancel your account. Either way they won't care.

Also, I will never join that farm thing or mafia wars so you are just wasting your time when you invite me to participate in either of them, or anything for that matter. And I'm sure they're really really fun once you get into them but I think I'm just going to pass. But thank you anyways. Really.


**whoever guesses the significance of the title wins a prize!


Anonymous said...

I have the same problem with followers. I think they're just messing with me.

You need to watch the old SNLs on Netflix like I do- I just watched the best of Christopher Walken yesterday. Awesomesauce. I don't get all the new ones- it's like they are actually trying to suck donkey ass.

May-B said...

My coworker says "brutal" all the time, so I think he would know the significance, but it only makes me want to punch him in the throat, so I won't ask.

tee said...

I know I know! It was the 2nd Pirates of the Caribbean movie! I was even there!

I have to disagree about SNL...the digital shorts make me pee my pants!

notquiteawake said...

Tee you win! And the prize is hanging out with me on Sunday night. You're welcome.

Lindzle said...

To get from my house to your house is literally 3 roads. I don't understand where you possibly could have gone wrong. Three roads. Seriously!

Anonymous said...

Ugh, I was going to guess Pirates as well!! And I was there too. In fact, I'm married to Brutal. That might become his nickname, you guys in on that? I can't do it alone.

Wanderer said...

Totally agree about FB and the little apps like Farm and Mafia. I've hidden them so that I don't receive any updates about anyone growing their corn or winning a farmer award, or getting some glittery f-ing gem - who cares!!

You should watch the SNL Christmas special though - old stuff. Oh boy I hope they do the skit about the Christmas Kangaroo. You would pee your pants over and over again. If it's not on I suggest youtubing it, totally worth it. But yeah, current SNL sucks bad

Wanderer said...

It's not as funny as I remembered but it still made me chuckle. Here's a link: