Today as I was leaving my apartment building I noticed a sign on the main door that said "THERE IS A THIEF IN THE BUILDING!" and I was like, AND? I was sort of hoping for a little more information like, is anything being done about it? Should we be taking precautions? Maybe the information is going to come in installments. Like, the next time I go down there'll be a sign saying "KEEP YOUR DOORS LOCKED!" or "WE'VE NARROWED IT DOWN TO THE 6TH FLOOR!". Or maybe this is just the kind of building where people post interesting facts. I think next time I leave the building I'm going to post a sign that says "I LIKE CHEESE!" and see what happens.
Also in my building there is a little table down by the mailboxes where people apparently put stuff they don't want and whoever comes first gets to take the stuff and keep it. There's a lot of different things like pots and books and lamps and even food. The other day I saw a couple boxes of crackers and I was going to grab them but then, when I came back, they were gone. You have to be pretty quick to get the good stuff I guess. At least I'm assuming this is how it works. Maybe people are just leaving their stuff there for safe keeping and other people take it and now people think THERE IS A THIEF IN THE BUILDING! I've totally figured it out! I should post a sign probably.
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Last night after work a group of us went to a karaoke place nearby just for something to do. Now, when I think of karaoke I think of a bar or pub with mostly drunk people but also a few super stars who hand in their little sheets with their song choice on them to some dude who sprinkles in a selection of his own songs with those of the random drunks he choses and everyone sits around and drinks and watches and maybe sometimes sings along and there's dancing sometimes and there's always some drunk dudes who want to sing "Paradise by the dashboard light", one of them singing the guy part and one of them singing the girl part in a horrible falsetto until I want to punch both of them in the face. Ok, that last part only happened once.
Anyways, last night we went to this place and we were lead into this tiny closet room with three couches and a TV and 2 microphones and the guy says that if we want any snacks or drinks we should call him on this phone thing and I'm like, "Excuse me but, what the hell?" and he just closes the door and this girl we're with tells us that this is how a lot of people, especially of a certain ethnic group which I'm not going to say at the risk of offending someone, karaoke now. I guess this place is just a place full of different sized karaoke rooms you can rent out by the hour and you come with your friends and sing. To your friends. Apparently it's a pretty big deal to some people and they get all dressed up and bring tea and warm up their voice and everything but I'm like, "Where are the drunks? Where are the Shania Twain wannabes? Where's the Summer Lovin'?"
It was still pretty fun though. After we got over how incredibly awkward it was. We stayed for about an hour and a half and all took turns and sang along and cheered each other on. I think next time we're going to go to an actual bar though. Social embarrassment is much more enjoyable. When we were leaving we were looking at the pictures on the wall of the "regulars" and there were these two girls who apparently set the record by singing for 15 hours. 15 hours. Of karaoke. I guess everyone reaches for the stars in their own way.
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Yesterday at work we practiced taking calls with each other and for my call I had to sign my partner up for a credit card. I will just say this: I feel very very sorry for the person who will be phoning in to get me to do anything for them in the next few months. I'm really hoping they have a good hour to spare because that's literally how long it's going to take me. Before I start crying. I would like to throw out a little suggestion for all of you who use telephone banking services. And this is coming from probably one of the most impatient people in the world. For people just starting out, there is a lot of information to process and a lot of procedures and programs to follow and when the person you're talking to is taking a lot of time to do something that you think is pretty simple like, oh I don't know, signing you up for a credit card, they're not being slow because they are a moron, they're being slow because they're still learning. And if someone accidentally hangs up on you or if you hear someone say "for fuck sakes" under their breath, you're likely talking to me and you should probably just go get a cup of coffee and settle in.
I wish I was kidding.