Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Yeah, I'm sort of like Jesus.

Yesterday after work before we all left for home, one of our instructors told us that there was supposed to be a big storm coming in so we should all leave for work earlier the next morning to ensure we get there on time and I was like, there is no possible way I could get up earlier than I am now, mostly because I'm pretty sure time doesn't actually exist before 5:30 am, but she was pretty sure it did so I thought about it and decided that, because I usually get to work 40 minutes early, I would just get up at my regular time and if it looked really horrible outside I would hurry to get ready and leave earlier.  So, I got up this morning and looked out the window and was pleasantly surprised that there was not a storm at all, it was actually barely snowing and the roads, despite being a bit wet, looked fine, great in fact, so I didn't hurry and left at my usual time.  And then I got onto the highway.  Or actually, no, I didn't get onto the highway.  I got into the LINE to get onto the highway.  Because apparently when the highway is wet here in Toronto people drive REALLY FUCKING SLOW.  And, I'm not even kidding, the snow was barely falling and it would melt IMMEDIATELY after touching the ground and it wasn't slippery and visibility was fantastic but it still took me an hour longer to get to work and, even though I had prepared myself for the traffic and the geriatric driving speeds, by the time I got to work I wanted to punch all of Toronto in the face.  And I pretty much carried that attitude with me all day.  It was a fun day for everyone.  I don't even want to think about what happens when it really snows and it actually STAYS on the ground. I imagine people just stop their cars in the middle of the highway and frantically make a run for it.  I'm pretty sure I'm just going to stay home that day.

**  **  **

Today we were all hanging out on one of our breaks and one of the guys on my team looks at me and says that I remind him of his friends mom and I stop and look at him and everyone else goes silent and he's like, "What? It was a compliment," and I was like, "Dude, that is totally not a compliment", and one of the girls says that there are two words that you should never pair with "looks like" when you are talking to a woman: "Mother" and "Fat".  Words to live by people.

5 comments:

Amanda said...

Reason 2023480 why I hate snow! Why do people drive like that when there is nothing, but drive crazy when there is a bunch? I don't get it.

Tyler said...

I understand that there must be a million cool things about living in the GTA, but the whole "spending hours to get to and from work" thing has always confused my hick Saskatchewan self.

Stacey said...

You just made me even more scared to drive in Toronto! And I have to do it on March 5... but, it also means I get to see you. I mean, I hope it means I get to see you, cause I will be in Toronto/Vaughan for like 4 days, so I hope you are around! (I'll fb or email ya, but I just wanted to let you know I am super scared to drive there!)

May-B said...

Rick Mercer calls it "Torontarded".

notquiteawake said...

I don't find it scary to drive in Toronto, just frustrating. And, Tyler, I totally agree with you. Except for the part about the million cool things to do. Maybe I just can't find them. Unless something happens to make me stay here in the next 6 months, it's back out west for me!