Sunday, April 18, 2010

Dear Starbucks, are you hiring? Call me.

So, as most of you know, I've been trying to find a new job because I hate my current one so much that I often want to run screaming from the building.  I've mostly been applying to jobs in my field in Calgary but have also started applying here because anything, my friends, is better than telephone banking at this point, even if it means staying in Ontario. And so I decided, because I wasn't getting any callbacks from jobs that were actually listed, that I would just apply to all the Event Planning companies in Calgary just in case they were hiring because the squeaky wheel gets the grease and all that.  And this is a really long process which is still incomplete because apparently there are a thousand Event Planning companies there which could possibly explain why the Event Planning industry is really shitty right now according to one of the people who actually responded to my email.  Maybe you guys should group together or something instead of having a thousand event companies of one or two people competing for all the events.  Just a thought.

Anyways, very few people have responded but my favorite response that I HAVE gotten so far has been this:

Thank you for your inquiry however I just looked on our website and we don't have any current job postings to apply for? Did you mean to inquire with us? It's always best to apply at companies that have current postings and at this time, we do not.

So, I guess it's always best to apply at companies that HAVE current postings.  Rather than apply to companies that do NOT have current postings.  I guess that's where I was going wrong.  I'm so glad she sent me that useful piece of information because it had not even occurred to me to actually apply to companies who had job postings.  Thank. You. So.  Much.

But I'm actually glad that she wasn't hiring?  Because if she actually talks the way she writes?  And makes every sentence she says a question?  I think I would want to punch her in the face?  All the time?

It's also awesome that she had to check the website to see if they were hiring.  Unless she was being a passive aggressive bitch and that was her way of telling me to check the website for job postings.  I hate her even more now.

And, in case you're wondering, my new glasses fucking rock people.  Fucking.  Rock.  I would take pictures but then I would have to post a close up of my face and that's not appealing to anyone.

You're just going to have to take my word for it.

12 comments:

Amanda said...

You need to send that email to passive agressive notes.com. Seriously. RUDE.

Hutch said...

Wow, and that woman has a job? Wow, just wow!

www.erinkelly.ca said...

maybe there is an optometrists convention coming up.

bingo!

Roxanne-and-Lorraine said...

I'm choosing to think she's dumb. If you look at it briefly, it may seem like a bithcy, passive aggressive sort of thing but the question mark at the end of the first sentence gives it away.

I looked at our website and I'm still questioning whether or not we have job postings?

So, word on wanting to punch her in the face all the time.

Good luck in the job hunt.

Lorraine.

Sarah P said...

Apparently, the company has enough money to keep someone useless on staff? Like an HR rep who sends useless responses to job candidates?

May-B said...

I'm pretty sure she was stupid. Really stupid.

Lindzle said...

this made me laugh...like the olden days. i hate that bitch too. how does she have a job??

notquiteawake said...

Thanks guys. I knew I could count on you all for your support. Even if you're new. New support is always welcome. I'm going to go with the majority here and believe that she is genuinely stupid. And I am also going to punch her.

www.erinkelly.ca said...

I totally just realized when you cross #11 off your list I'm not going to be able to look you in the eye. AWKWARD!

Also, WHY does my website keep coming up like I'm a marketing lunatic?

Anonymous said...

Nevermind. I just found the Anonymous button!

Signed,

Mary TapDancePants

notquiteawake said...

erin, or ms. tapdancepants, at the rate I'm going you will never have to worry about that. Ever.

I'm going to go cry now.

Curiosity said...

That paragraph? With the question marks? It made me laugh? Thank you?

She seems confused by human communication. Perhaps you should have sent a monkey.