Saturday, April 17, 2010

FINALLY I can stop watching that wedding video on youtube.

Today I heard Forever  by Chris Brown on the radio and I was super pumped because I haven't heard it played on the radio since the whole "beat the crap out of his girlfriend" thing and while I'm really really against people beating the crap out of their girlfriends, I also really really like that song so I was a bit torn when they stopped playing it.  So, while I was rocking out in my car I gave a silent thank you to all that is holy that the day has finally come when I FINALLY don't have to chose between moral reprehensibility and song enjoyment.  That's a load off my chest.

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I have underground parking in my building and basically it's like parking in a dank, dark, filthy, underground prison so I was kind of not looking forward to parking there when I bring my parents over to see my place when they come visit in May but I have to park down there so what do I do right?  And then yesterday I noticed that, to make things even better, someone has drawn a giant penis in dust on the windshield of the car that directly faces mine and I'm not sure what to do because I definitely don't want to touch it because I'm pretty sure that the car has been sitting there since the beginning of time and if I do touch it, it will disintegrate beneath my hand so I'm thinking maybe if I pretend it's not there my parents won't notice but it's pretty hard not to notice a giant penis drawn on a windshield and it's a pretty good drawing too so it's not even like I could pretend it was something else.  Maybe when we drive up I'll just tell them to close their eyes because I have a surprise for them and later when they ask what the surprise was I could day, "Surprise!  You don't get to see that your daughter lives in an apartment where there are drawings of male genitalia!" Yeah, I think that's what I'll do.

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So, I've decided to take full advantage of my health benefits and went and bought new glasses today.  I haven't gotten new glasses for probably about 10 years so I'm well overdue for some new ones, and I was in the store today trying them on and carefully calculating how much I could spend so that I would not go over the allowable $300.00 limit because, as I've mentioned before, I'm poor, when this lady comes in to get her glasses fixed and her daughter's like, "Now remember mom, you're just getting them fixed, you're not getting new ones this time, " and they laugh because I guess this is a common occurrence, and then, while she's talking to the guy at the counter she starts trying glasses on and finds a pair that she TOTALLY HAS TO HAVE so she's like, "Yeah, I guess I'll get these," like she's purchasing a carton of milk and then the guy's like, "These are $500.00 but if you get another pair they're only $600.00 for both," and she's all, "Oh, sure I guess I could get another pair," like $600.00 is just something she would normally carry in her purse, and then she's like, "So, if I brought in my 12 pair case, could I trade it in for a 15 pair case for free?" and I'm like, "WHAT?!" because I've basically been wearing the same ONE pair of glasses which are scratched to shit for 10 years because I couldn't afford to pay for ONE pair of glasses and I'm just astonished that cases exist out there that hold 15 pairs because that means that more than one person actually has 15 pairs of glasses that they wear on a regular basis.  Buying glasses for me was such a big deal today that I can't even imagine going into a store to get my glasses fixed and then just picking up a couple of extra, spur of the moment, pairs.  What the hell?  It's like going to get an oil change at a dealership and then just "picking up" an extra car because you don't have a red one.  Well, it's not like that at all because a car is way more expensive but, man, I still wish I could do it.

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Speaking of cars, I went to my physio appointment yesterday and I was telling her about all the stuff I've done now to help my knees and my back like purchasing the pillow and the back roll thing and some new orthodics and new shoes and I'm pretty broke right now but it's all totally worth it to feel better right?  And then I said that I usually take a couple of Advil before I go to bed because my left knee hurts from driving home because I have a standard and driving a standard in Toronto traffic and on the highway for an hour is not the most fun ever and, by the end, my knee and foot really hurt from constantly pushing in the clutch and she says, "Oh, that's not good.  Have you looked into getting a new car?"  And I'm like, "Seriously?  No. No I have not looked into purchasing a new car because my knee hurts.  Advil is significantly cheaper than a new car right now so I'm just going to continue to take the Advil until my health insurance covers vehicles ok?"  I sometimes don't really understand the people that live here.

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And, finally, I went to see Date Night last night and it was a bit silly but otherwise really good.  I would recommend it.  Mark Wahlberg is in it as a secondary character and even if you don't like Tina Fey or Steve Carell for some reason, Mark Wahlberg has his shirt of for the ENTIRE TIME he's on screen.  Totally worth it.


LynnieC said...

People like that lady with the 15 glasses just remind me of why I'm a socialist. And why I think that really really rich people need to get stabbed every once in a while.

Curiosity said...

I love that song too. I mean...I will protest that song. By listening to it. Over and over. So that other people may be spared.

Dork Vader said...

ahem, now that I've probably annoyed some people with typing in all caps, moving on.
I know what you mean about that song! I try to ignore the fact that he sung that song :P Cause it's a good one.
Yeah, I don't know what to tell you on the parking lot issue, except that if you decide to clean the car, I want you to video tape it so I can watch a car disintegrate into dust. That would be cool to see :D

notquiteawake said...

I like your style Curiosity, I like your style.

Amanda said...

YOu are so doggone funny. Firstly, I also have a pair of glasses that I've been rocking since 2001 (although I do have contacts) and I haven't thought about getting a new pair. OR EVEN 12 NEW PAIRS. WTF is wrong with that woman? And since when did we start start diagnosing cars as a problem. It's like when I was having heart palpitations and the doc was all, let's run tests! and they came back with nothing and she said, you drink much water? And I said no and she said hm...maybe you should drink more water!! GREAT Can I have my $500 deductible back from all those tests so I can BUY SOME BOTTLES OF WATER?

Tyler said...

People who don't like Tina Fey and Steve Carell don't deserve to go to movies.

notquiteawake said...

Amanda: You totally should have said that.

Tyler: I whole heartedly agree with you.

Everyone else: I just got peanut butter all over my keyboard so I can't type anymore. True story.

Dork Vader said...

Hahaha, we believe you ;)
Kinda like that time a few years ago my friend convinced me over chat that he had shorted his keyboard out >_<