First off, I'd like to congratulate myself on running in a 5K run yesterday and beating my previous time by a whole minute. Yes, I am truly awesome. I can still remember my exact thoughts as I pushed myself through that last 1K with the finish line in sight. "I have never been this close to throwing up during a run in my life," I thought. And it was the truth. It was rough my friends. I've let myself get pretty out of shape. And the worst thing is that this run was my "easy starter run" which would lead to a harder 10K in July and then my goal 15K in August. Seeing that I could barely push through the 5, I think I have a bit of work to do.
Right after I finish this beer.
Speaking of training, when you go to the gym and spend all your time sitting on the chest press machine watching a hot guy jump rope, that totally counts right? Because you are actually at the gym. Even if you don't do anything. You're still there. And everyone says just getting to the gym is the hardest part right? So, basically, if I've already done the hardest part there really isn't any point in doing anything else.
Speaking of men, I saw that dude who I went out on a date with previously at the run yesterday, and we hung out with a friend and her husband for a while after the run, and we were talking about how my friend doesn't like going out of town for work because she misses her husband and I was all, "I LOVE going out of town because I don't have anyone to miss and also I love being alone it's so awesome." And then I kept going on about how being alone was so great and I love it so much until dude was like, "Yeah, ok I get it," and I was like, "Woops". So, I pretty much inadvertently ensured that nothing was going to develop further in that area. But I do actually really like being alone. So, joke's on him I guess.
Speaking of running(See how I did that? My post is a perfect circle. I know, super clever), my body is so old and decrepit that, today, a day after the run, I am so sore I can barely fucking walk. I'm pretty sure I am soon going to need a hip replacement. Because I will rip my hip flexors out with my bare hands. I am currently walking like someone who you think might have just had a lot of sex. But you would be wrong. So, sadly, very wrong.