Monday, July 4, 2011

Why I should just get drunk on Mondays and call it a day

Most of the times when I don't sleep well, I can make it through the day pretty easily.  In fact, if I didn't constantly whine about how tired I was, most people likely wouldn't even know I had only slept for 3 hours the night before.

Then there are days when I wake up after not sleeping well and I'm a giant raging bitch.  I don't know what happens that makes these sleepless days different from other sleepless days but it's not pretty my friends.

And then there are days when I don't sleep well and I'm a giant raging bitch, and these days are rare, but it's almost like the world knows I'm teetering on it's edge and it keeps flicking me in the head with shit all day just to see how far it can go before I completely fall off.

Like today for example.  Here are some highlights:

  • Drove around downtown trying to find parking for half an hour and, when I finally did find parking(underground, yes!)was told by the old man in the little hut that it was cash only, please and thank you and only after I laid my head on my steering wheel and started to gently weep did he tell me that if I went down a couple of floors I could pay by credit card.  Which I did.
  • Realized that, after climbing up several flights of stairs and exiting the piss-filled dungeon, that I had actually parked a good 20 minute walk from my destination.
  • Suspected 10 minutes into the expedition that it probably wasn't the best choice to have brought my purse and my giant laptop bag.
  • Confirmed this suspicion on the walk back as it turned out I didn't even need my laptop at all.
  • Bought a coffee that tasted like women's perfume.
  • Drank it anyway. 
  • Got lost on my way back to the office.
  • Punched my GPS.  
  • Seriously, I actually punched my GPS.  I wish I was joking.
  • Yelled with my car window open, "IF I KNEW HOW TO 'CONTINUE TO BLOOR STREET' I WOULDN'T NEED A GPS IN THE FIRST PLACE!"
  • Felt like a fucking idiot.
  • Came home and blew my breaker.
  • Twice.
  • Joked to my friend that I'd only been home 30 minutes and I'd already blew my breaker twice because I keep forgetting I need to turn my air conditioning off if I use my microwave and, man I'm such an moron because who can't remember that?
  • Blew my breaker again.
  • Decided I would just be uncomfortably hot then for fuck sakes.
The day's over though right?  I'm sort of scared to move.  

3 comments:

Belle said...

"I'm sort of scared to move." I love it. I would be too.

Wanderer said...

And this is why we're friends!

May-B said...

That was awesome.