Friday, October 24, 2008

Online dating anyone?

I've always had mixed feelings about online dating. I still kind of think of it by it's old stereotype in that it reeks of desperation, despite the fact that I know many good people who have joined online dating sites and I know many people who have found what they're looking for. When friends ask me if I think they should join I always say yes. Why not? It couldn't hurt right? They're less and less a haven for 60 year old fat guys pretending they're 18 year old women and more and more a legitimate place to meet people. So why am I slightly embarrassed to be part of one? I'm not sure.

Maybe I think I'm kind of cheating and taking the easy way out because true love should only be found in person. If someone likes you they should actively pursue you or, keep it a secret and then one night, when you're just hanging out, they reveal their true feelings and then YOU say you feel the same way too and you've been waiting your whole life for this and then he cups your face in his hands and gives you the most passionate kiss you've ever experienced.

Because that's realistic.

So, anyways, I did break down and join a site but I'm still a bit wary. How do you know that the person to whom you are talking is accurately represented by their picture and information? At first, I wasn't going to put my picture up because I didn't want someone to be judging me by my picture, but then I thought, I'm sure as hell going to be judging people by their picture so I guess it's probably ok for people to judge me. Judge away boys! I probably would rather someone judge me on my picture than my personality anyways. For that reason I will not be posting a link to my blog anywhere on my profile.

On this particular site, you can't send a message to someone unless you're a member but it's only $8.00/month or something if you sign up for a year. Which I don't want to do. However, you CAN send these pre-written messages called Winks or Blinks or something else eye related. And you can tell who viewed your profile.

The first guy who viewed my profile was a super hot guy and, after looking at his profile, I was ready to start a relationship just based on me looking at him all the time. And then I thought, as if this super hot guy is online dating. He is probably not hot at all. Or an asshole. And then I thought I maybe didn't have the right attitude for online dating if this is how it was going so far.

The next day hot guy sent me a Wink or whatever that said "Ohhhhhh! Send me a message". Keep in mind that these are pre-written but what the hell does that "Ohhhhh!" have to be in there for? That does not sound to me like something a straight man would say. Regardless, I decided to send a Wink back and I chose "Just sayin' hi" because I'm so super casual about this that I can drop the "g" off the end of words. Then he winked me back saying "I would love to get to know you but I'm not a member. Will you take the first step?" because only members can send messages HOWEVER non-members can reply to messages sent by members. Still with me?

I was almost going to become a member because, really, what's $8.00/month when I could be talking to a potentially but probably not hot guy right? BUT then I thought, what a great money making ploy that would be! If I was the company, I would totally get hot guys and girls to wink at people and then eventually ask them to pay money and join so they can send messages to each other. Brilliant! And paranoid! But I didn't join. I sent him the same thing back because he contacted me first anyways so I'm not buying a membership if HE contacted me first. So there.

Surprisingly he didn't contact me back. Plus, I also can't figure out why I'm only getting winks and views by people from the US. And when I search for who's online I only get US people. I'm not doing this because I think I'm going to find my dream man or anything. I'm mostly just trying to meet people in the area because I'll be new to the city. And to get funny stories. Ok, mostly to get funny stories. In any case, I would prefer to have people contacting me who would actually be living in my area or, at the very least, my country. Is that too much to ask?


May-B said...

That's where I met The Guy. I went online b/c I knew if I didn't do something I was going to live with my sisters forever. We've been together almost 2 yrs now and I'm STILL embarrassed to say we met online.

notquiteawake said...

I am so glad you told me that! Your guy is awesome so there is hope. I feel better now.

ncsteph said...

may-b: And you don't live with your sisters anymore. The plan worked!

LynnieC said...

Oh balls. This is Lyn. Apparently Steph was using my computer.

notquiteawake said...

Ha! Balls. That's rich.

courtney said...

Well, hey, it used to be taboo to meet people online at all and now that's totally the norm. Nothing wrong with dating sites.

Heathercoo said...

I met my boyfriend through online dating. We are still together 3 years later and we just purchased our first house. I had to wade through some iffy ones though to find him. I too had the issue with wondering of whether they were actually what/who they said they were.