Saturday, April 4, 2009

Dates?

The other day one of my clients and I were talking, and the conversation somehow ended with her telling me she was going to find me a man and I was like, I'm not sure if that idea would work.

I could just see us going out for our first date and he would have to pay because I am poor, and after we were done dinner or whatever I would wait until my brother and his family were asleep and then we would sneak up into my bedroom and he would be like, how are we both supposed to fit on that child's size captains bed and I would be like, look it has drawers, you can sleep in one of those and he would be like, are you serious? and I would be like, yeah, remember that Seinfeld episode where the Japanese guys slept in those drawers? That was so funny! and he would be like, yeah but I'm not a Japanese guy and that drawer is half my size, and I would be like, if you're going to argue with me every fucking time I try to do something nice for you THIS RELATIONSHIP IS SO OVER! and then he would run away. Or he would stay and sleep in the drawer. I guess either one could happen.

Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea.

4 comments:

Jack said...

Try not to get married in the first 6 months of moving to Toronto. I'm just saying.

Imnotbenny said...

I know what you mean. I wouldn't mind finding a woman out there who could live with my weirdness, but stuck where I am and currently living on unemployment probably wouldn't be points in my favor.

Unless there's a sweet chick out there who likes to go dutch at White Castle, I think I'm screwed for a long time. Well, I guess not screwed.

Les sigh.

notquiteawake said...

Yeah, pretty much my goal is to not jump into a marriage with an immigrant trying to get his Visa. If I can make it to 6 months without doing that I think I'm going to be just fine.

May-B said...

I don't even have a response for this. I am speechless. You're hilarious.