Oh yeah, I have a blog.

So, it turns out, when you have a blog people actually expect you to post things. You guys are so high maintenance. And I'm saying that like more than one person made a point of asking me when I was going to post again. Which did not happen. The best part about me being absent for so long though is that I actually GAINED a follower. What the fuck? I've had the same amount of followers for almost the entire time I've been posting and I take a month off and actually gain one more? Awesome. I'm totally never posting again just to see how many followers I'll get. I'M INTO DOUBLE DIGITS NOW PEOPLE. How cool is that. Double. Digits.

So, why was I away for so long? Who knows. I've been busy and stuff. Tired. I also blame Mad Men. Most of my free time has been spent either sleeping, trying to sleep, or watching Mad Men. And yes, surprisingly, I am still single. It's a crazy crazy world when someone doesn't want to date a non-stop riot like me.

But the excitement doesn't stop there. I did actually do things. Like what? Like this:

A couple of weekends ago I went to my friend's son's third birthday party which was awesome. We went to this orchard and picked apples. Real ones! I was so pumped. I was probably as excited if not more so than all the kids. I could just contain it better. Outside I exhibited a mature calm exterior at all times while, inside my head I was all WHEN DO WE GET TO GO PICK APPLES!? WE GET TO GO ON A HAY RIDE?! WHEN DO WE GET TO GO ON THE HAY RIDE?HEY THERE'S A HORSE!DO WE GET TO RIDE WITH THE HORSE?HOLY SHIT LOOK AT ALL THOSE APPLES!DO WE GET TO PICK THOSE?!CAN WE EAT THEM?!CAN I TAKE SOME HOME?!CUPCAKES!

You might have guessed but, we don't really have that kind of thing where I'm from. You could probably go pick a bag of wheat somewhere if you wanted to but most people don't.

Then, last weekend, I went to my friend May-B's wedding which was also awesome. It was the first time I'd been home since I left in February and, to be honest, the whole "going home" experience was a bit bizarre. When I got there, it really felt like I had never left. It was like the life I had here was an entirely different life. It existed, but it didn't exist as solidly as when I was actually living it.

Whenever I've left home it was to either do something similar to what I had been doing or do something totally different with the understanding that it was a break from what I was doing and that I would be going back to my regular life eventually. What? Did anyone understand that? Try reading the sentence again. Good? Ok, carry on. I've never left to do something completely different to what I was currently doing with the intention of not returning to how things were. Until now. And I never really understood how totally different my life is here until I returned home to visit.

Back home(And I use the word "home" very loosely because where I am now is very much home to me, more than any other place I've moved to.) I'm a film producer. I have a diverse group of many friends. I have something to do and someone to do it with all the time. I have my parents. I eat pretty healthy but slack off quite a bit. I try to work out 3 times a week but usually just manage 2. I play a lot of sports. I have coffee groups and house parties and drinks on patios. I have a 9-5 job that pays pretty well but I generally hate it. I am under a lot of stress. I own my own house. I have an interest in health and fitness but don't really know much about it. When I am not at work I try my best to pretend it doesn't exist.

Here I'm a personal trainer. I have a few friends, some of them close who I hang out with on occasion, but at the same time, I've developed great relationships with all of my clients who have become like friends to me. I don't go out very often. My parents are far away. I eat very healthy and rarely slack off. I work out diligently 5 times a week. I play one sport. I watch a lot of TV on my lap top. I have a split shift job that pays pretty shitty but I generally love it. I don't have a lot of stress. I live in a bachelor basement suite. I know way more about health and fitness then I ever thought I could. Speaking about nutrition and anatomy has become second nature to me. I know how the body works and how you can change it. Every day I surprise myself at how much I've learned and at how much there still is to learn. When I'm not at work I'm often researching so that I can do my job better.

It's bizarre to me how different my life has become. And it's equally bizarre how easily I can sink comfortably into one while still being only somewhat conscious of the other. Both lives have their good and bad points. I love my job but I'm lonely a lot. It would be pretty sweet if I could somehow combine them both into one perfect life. I'm going to start seeing what I can do about that.

So, the wedding was really great and fun. I teared up at the beginning when May-B walked down the aisle to "Feels like home to me" by Chantal Kreviazuk and then again after I got home and found out that they already had gotten secretly married two months before. She still looked stunning however, and I still got to eat cake so it didn't really matter to me whether they had gotten married beforehand or not.

Also in the time I was away, I got another abnormal mole removed from my back so I was a bit freaked out about that. The doctor said it's probably ok though so I feel better. After taking it off he told me that I shouldn't get my back wet so that meant not having a shower until the following night and I'm like, "for sure," but in my head I was like, "screw that dude, " because it was so humid that day it felt like I was melting and the clinic's air conditioning was broken so for the past 20 minutes I had been laying in a puddle of my own sweat so when I got home I was like, "I'm totally sticking it to the man and having a shower, this doctor who knows what he's talking about isn't the boss of me!" And now I think my back is infected. So, if you see me around, don't touch my back. Or I will probably punch you in the face.

Also, I'm moving again. November 1st. It was either that or kill my upstairs neighbors and, despite the fact that they're assholes, they probably don't deserve to be dead. To celebrate the occasion I'm going to be posting a sequence of posts counting down the top 5 shit holes I've lived in. And I'm not even going to mention the house I still own because I've already written enough about that and obviously it would be the winner. Or maybe not obviously. Oh the suspense!

Before I move though I have to actually find a place to move to and also find someone to take over my lease. So I guess I better get on that.

And finally, this weekend my friend Imnotbenny is coming down for a visit so, yay!

The End.