Friday, June 4, 2010

Ummm.....Mr. Landord? My jet tub doesn't seem to be working properly...can you come and take a look at it?

I've been apartment hunting which, until this week, was an activity I was doing sort of semi-half-assed because I figured looking for a place for July 1st was kind of a pointless thing to do in May because all the places would be available for June 1st and not July so I thought, hey, I'll be super picky until June and then I'll have my pick of all the many many sweet places.  I will be overwhelmed with all of the variety and goodness and my only choice will basically be to chose which place is more perfect than all of the rest.

You may guess where I'm going with this.

It turns out there aren't a whole lot of places available.  There's this awesome website called which lists all the rentals for a specific area and shows pictures and stuff and it's really great because you can see the place before you actually go and physically take a look but it's become clear that the people taking these pictures really know how to make a place look much better than it actually looks in real life.  Much better.  Like, "seriously this is a bedroom?" better and "has this bathroom ever been cleaned?" better.

Fortunately tonight I found one that I really liked.  It's on the top floor of a house so I don't have to worry about assholes stomping around all the time, it's non-smoking, newly renovated, very clean, new everything, JET BATHTUB!, reasonable rent, good area, close-ish to the beach and cool little shops, and it has a HUGE attic above the living room which I can use for storage or another room or something.  It's really cool.  Did I mention it had a jet tub?  

I filled out an application and now the landlord has to talk to the other owners and do a credit and reference check so, fingers crossed!  Apparently it's pretty hard to find a place here and he's had lots of people looking so I'm not going to get my hopes up but the BEST part is the landlord is a super cute 28 year old who I would totally sleep with if I had to.  And also if I didn't. 

I'm really hoping I get it.  Because the next apartment I looked at was shown to me by Tony Soprano I think who basically opened the door, stepped in, told me how awesome it was and what a great deal I'd be getting and that the best burger joint in town was just down the street and, by the way, he knew the owner, and that it wasn't "small" it was "cozy" and walked out.  And then I think he tried to sell me a car.

The last place I looked at tonight was shown to me by a very loud, red-faced woman who was clearly drunk and told me 5 times in the 30 seconds it took me to see how incredibly small the place was, that she collected furniture and she does gardening when she's stressed and, when I asked if the rent was $950 plus utilities because that was what the ad said, she told me in between sips of beer, which she was drinking from a wine glass, that, no, it was $1150 inclusive and that she was a REAL ESTATE AGENT and that she's shown some REAL SHIT HOLES and she knows what's going on so DON'T EVEN TRY TO NEGOTIATE.  And I was like, holy fuck man, I was just asking you to verify your ad.  And please put your boob back inside your shirt.

In unrelated news, my parents were here for a visit last week and that went really well.  My favorite moment was when I took them to a really great Thai place here and my Dad decided he was going to try speaking in an Italian accent for some reason and, it turns out, his Italian accent sounds very very similar to that of an Oriental person.  Did I mention we were in a Thai restaurant? 

Yes, I believe that I did.

1 comment:

Frances said...

Wow, that place with the jet bathtub must have been awesome. There are plenty of jetted bathtubs around but there are only a few houses for rent which actually has one. That's a nice find!