Sunday, August 8, 2010

Boobs!

You know what I like doing?  Fucking with people.  I would really like to know how many people were directed to my blog while searching for pictures of boobs.  There are no pictures of boobs here.  I apologize.  Except not really.

Someone was most recently directed to my site by searching for the phrase, "My sister's porn faker blog" and to that I have to say, "What?"

And also under the category of things that make me shake my head and wonder what the hell is wrong with people, is this new show I saw advertised called "Dating in the Dark".  Based on only having seen two advertisements and having done zero research, I can now say without hesitation that this is probably one of the most ridiculous ideas for a show I've ever seen.

It looks to me like it involves a room full of evenly matched men and women who try to get to know each other and then make out.  In the dark.  Without ever seeing the other person.  But we can see them because it's shot with those cameras that can see in the dark.  I'm not sure if the lesson we're trying to learn is that "looks aren't everything" or "some people will do anything to get on TV" or what but this just seems way off the charts of complete idiocy to me.

Now, I'm not a fan of Reality TV to begin with and the only thing I like about shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette are the hilarious recaps of Amanda and Tyler, but this one really seems to go over the top.

And how exciting is this going to be to watch?  How much can you get out of several couples groping each other in the dark.  And THEN groping some dude or chick that some OTHER dude or chick has groped.  And what are these people thinking?  "I sure hope this chick I'm making out with in the dark thinks I'm a better kisser than the dude that kissed her immediately before me", or "I sure hope this chick I'm making out with is actually a chick".  Because that would be pretty fucking embarrassing.  Or would it?  Would it really be at this point.

And this got me thinking about myself and the perpetual single state that I'm in and I asked myself if I would ever do something like this or the Bachelor or something of a similar vein to see if I could find a boyfriend.  And my answer to myself was no.  Hell.  No.  Not even if you paid me.  Well, maybe if you paid me a lot.

And then I asked myself if I wanted some ice cream.  And the answer to that was yes.  Except I don't have ice cream.  So this post has taken a very sad turn.

I apologize to those who were searching for ice cream.  Or ice cream boobs.  Or boobs in ice cream.   Nothing to see here. Carry on.

5 comments:

Amanda said...

Where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket!?!?

I have to say, dating in the dark is pretty ridiculous...I've never watched it but have seen all I need to see in the previews, thankyouverymuch. It's pretty sick.

Hutch said...

The answer to ice cream is always yes, always! The answer to why don't you audition for the bachelor is always no, always. One I'm awkward on camera, two ABC has full control to edit and make you an idiot, villain or a fool. Three, the odds of actually falling in love with someone with cameras constant in your face are like .00007%. Thanks I'll pass :)

I watched one episode of Dating in the Dark, I think it was last season. Awkard

Curiosity said...

Oops... Came looking for dating ice cream covered boobs in the dark. Sorry to bother you.

tee said...

Ok, so I watched both "The Bachelor Pad" and "Dating in the Dark" tonight. I was not surprised to discover that these shows are totally terrible, and only serve to highlight the worst of human nature. I totally can't wait for next Monday. I bet you thought I had more substance to my character...yea, well...apparently not.

notquiteawake said...

Amanda: Does this mean you're not going to do a weekly recap?! Well, crap.

Hutch: I think you and I need to get together sometime and eat ice cream and be single while at the same time, not be on reality TV.

Curiosity: I think this is the perfect opportunity for you to draw me an appropriate stick figure.

Tee: Recap on your blog time!