Monday, May 23, 2011

Being an adult is for chumps

When you are young(er) you kind of have this, apparently misinformed, idea that when you got old(er), for example 35, you would be at a certain place in your life.  You know, the place where most other 35 year olds are at; married, kids, house, financial solvency.  Or, at the very least,  a place where you don't run out of money at the end of every month, have a small amount of savings, and don't have to ask your parents for money when something goes wrong with your car.

And then you get old(er), for example 35, and you're divorced - so, technically you've not only achieved but also surpassed the marriage goal - and you don't have kids - but that's ok because you're really not sure if you want kids anyways because, if we're being completely honest here, most kids annoy the piss out of you so much so that when you come across a group of them on their skateboards, rather than honk your horn or wait for them to get out of your way, you just yell MOVE out your car window like a fucking crazy person - and you're actually thinking that maybe you're doing ok financially because, while you're still living paycheque to paycheque you can still afford to buy the things you want most times and you go out a lot and, even though you can't quite put anything towards savings, you are putting a very small amount of money towards your debt and it doesn't really matter that you're using your credit card more then you should and not quite paying it off enough to make an actual difference because at least you're trying and, really, you're doing the best you can and that's all you can ask for right?

And then you remember that the people who are renting to own your house in Saskatchewan, and have been paying you extra rent to go towards a deposit for two years, are actually due to officially buy your house at the end of May which means you won't be getting that extra amount of deposit money every month, none of which you have actually saved.  So you decide to figure out how much less you'll now be getting a month and you think it's about $400.00 and that kind of sucks because, as mentioned before, you're already living paycheque to paycheque and have about $50.00 currently in your savings account.

And then you realize that, somehow - SOMEHOW - you are not, in fact, getting $400.00 less per month but really, $900.00 less per month and you wonder to yourself, and also out loud, how the fuck you let this happen.  Seriously.  How the fuck.

So you crunch the numbers again and realize that, yes, even without your mortgage payment, you are actually going to be making $900.00 less per month.  And you remember that the rent you were charging at the beginning encompassed your mortgage payment as well as the utilities, insurance and taxes and, when your renters started renting to own, they also started paying all of those extra things and you didn't take that into account.  Nor did you take into account the fact that when you went from a fixed to a variable mortgage, your mortgage payments went down quite significantly.   And then you come to the horrible realization that you are, in fact, totally screwed.

But the good thing is that you realize this in February so at least you can prepare.  Or try to prepare.  Or panic and call your parents and ask them to support you for the rest of your life.  And you choose prepare, somewhat surprisingly.  But you also call your parents first and cry a little.

So, the idea is, to make a budget.  And not only make a budget, but actually stick to it for longer than a day, something that you've never achieved in your entire adult life.   And, somehow, this budget is going to be based on the money you have AFTER you take out $900.00 every month and put it in your savings account which is what you SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

And you do it.  And it's really really hard.  And you can't go out as much.  And you can't just go shopping and buy what you want.  And you have to say no to many many things because you can't afford it.  And you're thinking of ways you can fit in a meeting with your renters when you fly home for your awesome friend's wedding because then you can claim the flight costs on your taxes.

But you're doing it!  And it's working!  And you're actually living on $900.00 less per month.  And you're even putting a good sum of money towards debt reduction as well as putting money every month into a savings account.  And you kind of wish that you maybe had thought of this in your early 20's so that your current life was a bit more established and maybe you wouldn't, at 35, have to be making the choice between buying a pair of shoes and buying vegetables, but at least it's working right?  At least you've finally started.  And you're on your way to not only paying off your debts but also maybe having a little next egg at some point way off in the future.  Like a real adult.

And then you get a call from your lawyer saying that your renters actually cannot get a mortgage because their credit is so shitty so what would you like to do?

And it is at that point that you decide to check out of life entirely and go live in the park.

The End.


Belle said...

Great post! You know what? You did awesome living on $900 less a month. I guess you can keep renting your house out to people?

Hutch said...

Can your parents support me too? No? Looks like I might have to join you in the park!

May-B said...

You've done really well! Being that we're married and still living paycheque to paycheque and accidentally went into the red this month and have money taken off next month... Well, you're doing just fine.

Also, Regina is DESPERATE for rentals. Hike that fucking rate up and go crazy!!!

tee said...

Dude!! You're crazy! $900 a month here right now is a steal! Hike up that rent and start a savings account!

Good for you for getting a handle on a budget, that's more than most people are ever able to do. You're awesome and amazing, don't be so hard on yourself.

notquiteawake said...

Belle: It actually worked out. I'm going to rent it out to the current renters for another three months and see if they can get their credit cleared up by then.

Hutch: Can you bring some blankets? I gave all mine away when I moved.

May-B: That actually makes me feel a lot better. It's good to know I'm not the only one my age with money issues.

Tee: The rent wasn't $900. $900 is how much less I'll be making a month after my mortgage gets paid off. The rent was $900 plus my mortgage payment. Or, is currently I guess. You are also awesome and amazing! I can't wait to see you in July! I know you're totally getting married and junk but we'll still have to go out for coffee. Your treat.

Amanda @ It's Blogworthy said...

Yes. To all of this. Which is why now we've maxed out the card we "pay off every month" because somewhere along the line my husband spent way too much money.

The Unsure Blogger said...

OMG...well said.
I keep wondering when I will actually make ENOUGH so that I am not living pay cheque to pay cheque...
I expect it will happen soon...right?