Saturday, July 10, 2010

Spelunking

The thing I really like about living here, aside from the mice and the cockroaches, is that it's kind of like living in a cave.  Despite living on the main floor of a house, my cell phone and blackberry reception is shit and my internet will often just crap out for no reason and I get the "Oops! Google Chrome could not find..." whatever I was looking for and, I like Google Chrome more or less but I think I would be less likely to want to punch things if they took that "Opps!" out of there.  It seems so dick-headidly patronizing to me.  "Woopsie Daisy!  We can't find your link moron!  Maybe try the real link?  Because this one doesn't exist?"  I bet the concept was developed by this passive aggressive wonder.

The good news is that I haven't seen a cockroach or mouse dropping since the weekend I moved in which is promising.  Although I did block off the places I had seen them with coffee tables and baskets so I wouldn't start checking the areas obsessively as I tend to do sometimes(all of the times).

Also, my plants are dying because there are no windows in the house that sun actually enters.  See?  Even the sun does not want to be here.  It's very "Flowers in the Attic"- ish.  Except I'm not sleeping with my brother.

Gross.

But I'm moving in a week!  And I'm pretty excited, naturally.  My new place is mere blocks from the beach and Queen Street which is where all the cool shops and stuff are.  And it has a giant deck and patio doors and a huge bedroom and air conditioning and a bathtub so I can actually shave my legs without falling over.  True story.

And I think I might actually have a shower today and maybe go out and do something.  Although I don't really want to go overboard and do anything that might affect my newly acquired degenerate hermit status.

Baby steps.

4 comments:

May-B said...

I don't know why you'd want to leave this place. It sounds perfect. It sure entertains us.

www.erinkelly.ca said...

Dang it.

I ordered you a housewarming gift. A haz-mat suit. In turquoise.

Now I'm going to have to return it.

Amanda said...

How are you supposed to *want* to do anything when you live in a cave? Our internet is so shitty too. They can't figure out what's wrong with it, but we get the "oops" thing quite a bit. Then it will say, "call to resolve this problem" and then you reload and it will say "problem resolved! please restart browser!" It makes me crazy.

Hutch said...

Shaving the legs without falling over/looking like a leg cutter is key!